"Math Jokes" is featured in the Top Ten Educational Sites on the World-Wide Web
("Learning in Motion's", September 2000 issue), see

Counting visitors []

Mathematical humor 

collected by Andrej and Elena Cherkaev
|| Andrej's homepage || Elena's homepage ||

To math puzzles  Back to home (pages) Elena  Andrej 
Credits: Animated gif is created by Xenia Cherkaeva,

To the top


Two functions walk down the street, 5 and ex. They see Derivative walking towards them. 5 freaks out, screaming "Oh no! Oh no! Derivative is going to come up and operate on me, and then I'll be zero - Oh no!!" ex, smugly, walks up to Derivative and says, "Ha! I'm ex. You can operate on me all you want and I'll still be ex. You can't touch me." Derivative looks up, raises an eyebrow, and responds, "Oh yeah? I'm partial, with respect to Y."

A zookeeper decides his zoo needs more diversity, so he buys a pair of snakes to start a new exhibit.
The snakes bring in many visitors, so the zookeeper decides to get them to mate. Despite his best efforts and three Barry White albums, the snakes refuse to breed.
Stumped, the zookeeper calls in a snake expert for assistance.
The snake expert takes one look at the snakes, then asks for a tool kit and some firewood. He makes a table, puts it in the enclosure, where lo and behold, the snakes slither atop it and begin to mate.
Amazed, the zookeeper asks how the snake expert knew to do that.
The expert answers, matter-o-factly, "Well, everyone knows you need log tables to get adders to multiply."

An engineer, mathematician, and a statistician are out hunting with bows and arrows in the woods when they spot a deer. Deciding that they don't want to scare the deer off by all attacking at once, they decide to take turns. The mathematician goes first; he estimates the distance and the velocity of the arrow, fires at the correct angle, and falls short by 10 feet because of air resistance and mass. Then the engineer; he considers the wind resistance, mass of the arrow, movement of the target, and fires the arrow, but lands 10 feet too far because of an incorrect calculation.
The statistician, ecstatic, jumps in the air and exclaims "WE GOT 'IM!"

A programmer is going out for a stroll one evening. His wife asks him to swing by the store and pick up a gallon of milk, and if they had eggs, to get a dozen. He returned with twelve gallons of milk and said "They had eggs.""

What is Benoit B. Mandelbrot's middle name?
Benoit B. Mandelbrot

A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician are having lunch at an outdoor cafe. Across the street, they see two people entering a building. A little while later they see three people exiting the building. The biologist says, "They must have reproduced." The physicist says, "There must have been some experimental error." A few minutes later, the mathematician remarks, "You know, if one more person walks into that building, it'll be empty."

(Contributed by my former student, Chris Nguyen)